Dare to take a peek if tomorrow taps at your door
by twlight2u
Summary: When tension between Harm and Mac comes to a boiling point, Harm takes some time to seriously think about his future with some help from a mysterious source.
1. Default Chapter

Title: Dare to take a peek when tomorrow taps at your door

Rating: PG

Name: StarrySkies

Summary: When tension between Harm and Mac comes to a boiling point, Harm takes some time to seriously think about his future with some help from a mysterious source.

Disclaimer: I do not own JAG, CBS and Donald Bellisario do. This brings me no profit, I'm just a shipper having some fun. Don't sue me, I've got nothing to take, you can have a penny though.

AN: This is going to be a long on going story, I'm not sure how many parts there will be. Please no flames, this is my second fanfic. Enjoy and thanks to ShipperGirl100 for beta reading!

Part 1

October 13th, 2004

In Harm's car en route to JAG headquarters

0730

The weather had turned, and Autumn was definately in the air now. The sun was out and the air was crisp as Harm drove to work in the morning. He sighed loudly to himself, as he tried tried to concentrate on the traffic while his mind was on other things.

He had been feeling frustrated lately, and was at the point now where something had to be done.

Four months had passed since Webb had been found alive, and Mac had broken it off with him. Harm had given Mac her space to come to terms with all she had been through. He had hoped in time they would get back to rebuilding the great friendship they once had, but that just wasn't happening. Mac was still cold and distant to Harm. He had asked her to join him for dinner a few times, but she always declined, usually with the excuse she was tired after her long day and just wanted to go home alone to relax.

Harm did have dinner with Alicia a couple times, but all that did was reinforce in him the feeling that he had to figure this thing out with Mac one way or another. Harm realized he cannot give himself to another woman, or move ahead in his life because he is in love with Mac. He also realized though, that he cannot stay stuck in his life any longer, not able to pursue the things he wants, because of his love for Mac.

He wanted to be married now, have children and settle down. He wanted all that with Mac, but that hope was fading dim, and if it wasn't to be with Mac he had to find out now, so he could finally attempt to move on.

Harm was so lost in thought that he sat through a green light. The cars behind him honked angrily.

"This woman has me so preoccupied I am missing lights now." he said to himself.

He paid attention until the light turned green, and then continued to drive on auto-pilot the rest of the way to work. His thoughts filled with how exactly he was going to figure out if he should continue waiting and hoping Mac would turn around and want him too. How would he do that?

Then his thoughts turned into missing Mac...his old friend Mac. The Mac before Paraguay, and even before that, when they used to have dinners together, laugh together and teasingly flirt with one another. Where had that Mac gone? She had been gone so long Harm couldn't remember exactly when that Mac had left. She was always so sad or angry now. It hurt Harm to see her like that, and he wanted his old Mac back.

Harm pulled into the JAG Headquarters parking lot. His head beginning to hurt from all the intense thinking he had done on the way to work.

Frustrated he thought to himself,"Thats it! I cannot go on like this anymore. I will figure out if Mac and I do have a future together, and if I can bring back my old Mac, if I can make her happy again. If not, then I solemnly vow to myself that I will let Mac go and move ahead in my life once and for all!"

Relieved, satisfied and feeling once again in control, Harm exited his car and headed into work. He was on a mission and determined, nothing was going to stop him now.

JAG Headquarters

0800

"Good morning, Commander!" Bud said happily as Harm walked by him in the bullpen.

"Good morning." Harm replied with a smile on his face, and he walked into his office.

Harm shut the door behind him and sat down at his desk to go through mountains of paperwork. He had a long day in court starting at 1000 this morning and needed to get all his case papers ready.

An hour later, he looked up from his desk to see Mac walk past his office. She had the expression she always wore now, solemn and steadfast. He remembered the days when Mac would have at least looked through his window and smiled and waved at him, even if she didn't come in to say good morning.

Harm spun around in his chair to look out the window. He saw the gold and orange leaves falling to the ground and said to quietly to himself, "I am going to need more help with figuring this whole thing out than I thought."

After a few moments of intense thought while staring out the window, he turned back around to face his paperwork. He would shelf he and Mac's issues for now, and come back to them later when he could give their situation his full attention.

TBC


	2. Dare to take a peek if tomorrow taps at ...

A Park

October 13,2004

1800

Harm had decided on a run. It was not a usual thing for him to do directly after work, but he felt today a run might really help clear his head.

The air was very crisp, and the sun was just beginning to set as he started out. He breathed in the cool air and his thoughts started to flow.

Today had been an example of his ability to figure out if things would work with Mac. He had been in court most of the day, and by the time he had gotten out, Mac had already left for the day. He began feeling frustrated once again, and his feet hit the pavement harder. He knew what he wanted, but had no idea how to get it.

He thought to himself, maybe this is impossible? Maybe I should just accept the fate that Mac and I will never be. Then another part of his mind says, no, you cant give up without one more final try to see what could be between you two.

He continued this back and forth argument with himself until finally he was emotionally and physically drained. He stopped running to rest a minute. He bent over and placed both his hands on his knees, breathing hard to catch his breath.

"Dare to take a peek when tomorrow taps at your door."

Harm stood up and stared into the face of an old woman, who was walking two poodles. She was looking at him with a rather serious expression on her face.

"Excuse me?" Harm asked her.

The two poodles each sat down on either side of the old woman. She looked at Harm and gave a weak smile.

"I know you are in a hard place right now. You stated you needed help today and I have been sent to help you."

Harm was very confused, and was sure she had the wrong man. "I am sorry ma'm, but I really don't know what you are talking about."

She kept a straight face, and seemed to ignore his statement. "Your heart is confused, and tomorrow is tapping at your door. I cannot answer questions, only tell you that I am here to help you figure it out, so you can see and make a choice."

Harm was losing his patience. "Ma'm-" he started, but was cut off by her.

"No, that is all for now. Soon you shall see. Have a good night."

She called to her poodles, and continued on her walk.

"Wow," thought Harm to himself, "Poor old woman must be out of her mind." Though somewhere in the back of his head he knew that she had been right about how he was feeling.

No time for craziness, Harm pushed the old woman out of his mind and continued with the rest of his run.

Harms Place

October 13, 2004

1930

Harm had just showered and changed after his run. He walked in the kitchen to heat some leftovers for dinner. He took his heated food and went to the living room to sit down on the couch and watch some mindless TV. He thought, after his day, mindless TV and early sleep was just what he needed.

He grabbed his TV controller and hit the power to turn it on. All the stations were fuzzy. He thought, "This doesn't make sense. I know I paid the cable bill. What's wrong?"

He set his food down and got up to check the cables in the back of the TV and make sure they hadn't come lose somehow. They seemed to be in place, but he tugged on them nonetheless. Then the static stopped, Harm walked back and sat down to find something to watch.

He stared at the TV and rubbed his eyes. What was on the screen looked like the bullpen at JAG Headquarters. Impossible! He changed the channel, but the same thing was on every channel. He was confused and getting worried as to what was wrong with him. Surely he was now losing his mind!

As he stared at what he was now certain was the bullpen at JAG, a familiar voice came on the TV.

"Harm, Harm, do not be alarmed. I know this is strange, but I told you earlier today I have been sent to help you." It was the voice of the old woman in the park.

"WHAT!?" Harm jumped up from the couch, throwing his controller on the floor. He roughly ran his hands through his hair, and paced the room in circles.

"What is happening to me?!" He desperately asked himself.

"Please, calm down." the voice on the TV said.

"No! " Harm screeched," I cannot calm down!"

He grabbed the controller off the floor and pressed power to turn the TV off. Nothing happened, the TV would not turn off. He walked over to it and tried to turn it off manually. That did not work either.

"What is going on here!" Harm yelled at the TV.

"Sit down, Harm. I will explain it all to you if you will please sit down and listen."

Feeling helpless, Harm obliged, returned to sit on the couch and hear a television tell him how he has officially now lost his mind.

"I wonder if Mac's therapist see's male patients also." he muttered to himself.

The TV began to speak to him again. "Earlier today, you stated that you need help in figuring out your relationship, or lack of, with Mac. I have been sent to help you. Think of me as an Angel if you would like. I will help you by showing you how to get a relationship back with your best friend Mac. I will give you a glimpse of what could be. Its not a glimpse of the past, not of the future either, it is more showing you what can happen between you two if you pursue her. From there you can make a decision if a life with her is truly what you want.

I know your relationship is in threads right now, and it wont be easy to gain her back, even as a best friend, but if you will pay attention to what you are shown, and really work, even when it may seem hopeless, you may just see that the rewards are worth all you have been through."

"OK, ok, so assuming I have not just totally gone insane, how exactly do you help me with this?" Harm asked.

"As needed, possibly every night, when you turn your TV on, I will be here, showing you how to address the situation and the possible outcome. This may not be easy for you always, and you must trust in me. Now, that is enough discussing it, time to show you what I mean. This is your first night, and after watching, you will better understand what to expect. So sit back, relax, and lets get started with your first viewing and see how much you can learn from it."

With that the old woman's voice disappeared, and JAG Headquarters became in clear view on his screen. Harm took a deep breath and watched his could be life unfold.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the feedback :) I will try to post a new part everyday!

A/N: For the sake of my story, AJ never retired and is still JAG, though the rest of the story is set in season 10. Also, the "Harm on the couch watching" will be shown in ( ) so not to confuse.

PART 3

It gave Harm a strange feeling to watch his life in the third person. He saw himself enter the bullpen as he arrived at work.

He exchanged the usual morning greetings with the JAG staff. Mac walked by him on the way to her office.

"Good morning, Colonel." Harm said and smiled at her.

"Good morning, Commander." Mac answered back with a weak smile. She continued on into her office and shut the door.

Harm excused himself from his co-workers, and headed to Mac's office.

Harm knocked once on Mac's door, then opened it and went in.

("What am I doing!" He wondered)

Mac was setting her papers down on her desk, and looked up annoyed at him.

"Something I can help you with Commander? Because I have to be in court in an hour and have a lot of work to do." With that Mac walked around her desk and sat down, staring at him awaiting an answer.

Harm did not appear to be shaken by her annoyance with him. He walked over in front of her desk, with his arms crossed across his chest, "I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tonight? I thought maybe you could come over to my place to eat, and I could run some questions by you on the Manning Case I am working on."

Mac's expression softened some, "I would Harm, but I promised Harriet I would stop by after work for a while and exchange some adult conversation with her."

Harm started backing away from her desk, "Alright, Mac, maybe some other time." He turned to walk out the door and as he was leaving his hand caught the door frame. He peeked back in and said, "By the way, good luck in court today."

"Uh, thanks." Mac replied. Harm shut the door behind him, heading to his own office.

("She shot you down again, buddy." Harm said to himself. "But I do admire you. The way things have been lately I wouldn't have even gone in there and asked her to dinner...hm...maybe that is how its done.")

Harm sat at his desk, obviously lost in thought. He grabbed a pen and began twirling it around his fingers. Then he sat up straight and smiled. "That's what I'll do!"

("Oh no, do what?" Harm questioned what his alternate self was up to.)

He opened his desk drawer, pulled out a Chinese take out menu, and dialed the number on it. He pre-ordered a lunch to pick up. Seeming satisfied he went to work on his case papers.

Time flashed ahead a few hours to lunch time. Harm was returning to JAG with the lunch he had ordered earlier. He sat down at his desk and wrote a small note. "You cannot make dinner, but I bought you lunch. Enjoy, Harm."

("What am I crazy!? She is just going to throw it at me and tell me not to do stuff for her!" Harm rolled his eyes.)

Harm went to Mac's office, she was still in court, and placed the lunch and note on her desk.

He was returning to his own office when he was called into a meeting with the Admiral.

Mac exited the courtroom, looking none too happy. She walked directly to her office and closed the door. She was surprised to see lunch sitting on her desk. She read the note, and broke out into a genuine smile. "Harm...", she said quietly and shook her head at his unusual thoughtfulness.

("Wow!! I cannot believe I just witnessed a genuine smile out of Mac! It has been so long since I have seen one, I forgot just how beautiful that smile is. Way to go! I am impressed with what I just did. Maybe this is going to help me after all!")

Flash to the end of the day at JAG. Harm was locking his office up when Mac walked by on her way out.

"Harm, I just wanted to say thank you for the lunch today. It was very thoughtful of you. I did enjoy it." She seemed to shyly smile at him, not showing him the big smile she allowed herself to have alone in her office earlier.

Harm flashed her a smile back and said, "You are welcome, Mac."

Then the TV went black. Harm sat there absorbing all he had just witnessed. He reached for the controller and turned the TV back on. It was back to regular television now.

He leaned back on the couch and threw his legs out in front of him, sighing heavily.

He thought to himself," Well, if I am not nuts, then this was already a learning experience for me. I think I will try that approach at work tomorrow and see how well it applies to real life with Mac. If this is a 'could be' then I am beginning to like the 'could be'."

Harm shut the TV off, and headed into bed. This had a been a huge day, life changing day for him, and he was asleep as soon as he hit the pillows.


End file.
